You're simply the best!!!!

Well, after a few struggle in this few days, finally, there's reply from University of Manchester, offered me an unconditional offer....

It was a relief for me because my results has been recognized by the UK university.

Well, it does not show anything best for me unless scholarships can sponsor me to there and further my studies there.

Shell....Shell....Shell....Please grant me this opportunity to there and further my studies... I wish this may come true....

By the way, this scholarship is really really hard to get since there's so many experts. More intelligent than me, including Chang ( Fluker )....Well....truth is she is good in English...is an advantage for her....

Ok la....this is the recent update for me...Hopefully my wish can be granted..

Ciao....

Want more??!!!! What do You still want me to do??!!

Failure, failure, failure....
That's what I can say right now...Can't get anything in my hand...

NTU appeal to change the course-----> fail

Make confession to a girl -----> fail

NUS admission-----> Fail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey, I do look alike with my other friends who also got straight As in STPM!!!!!!
Why the destiny between me n them is totally different!!!!!
I really hopeless....

Because what I expect since I got the results was everything must be in my hand and going smoothly....


It came the wrong way..WHY!!!!!

WHY!!!!!

WHY!!!!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT ??!!!My Lord, I ask You, what do You want me to do now??

Are You happy now?!!! I am not!!!! I really want to have a few choice to choose from..
Why do You want me to choose just that kind of course!!!!!!

I really don't understand why some of us can't do things smoothly.....What else You want me to do!!!!!

I try to understand it since I failed to achieve good results in SPM...
I thought what I should do is do the best in my STPM..
Yes, indeed, I did it!!! But, why?? What else You want??!!!!

I trust You......I try to trust You too..Everyone of my friends want me to trust You.
But, I try.....What I get now???? Nothing but A PIECE OF SLIP SAID:" YOU FAILED, YOU FAILED, YOU FAILED!"!!!!!


OK....FINE!!!! Environmental Engineering ....I just take it.....But, I will continue to appeal for changing the course!!!!

Examples of my friends who did well in STPM get things quite smooth compare with me:
1) Chang Sin Yuen:
She is a good girl and got the results same as me. She applied the universities, scholarships and even the results also same as me. Ok, now, she has a few interview including Shell Overseas Scholarships, SCP scholarships, and NTU / ASEAN scholarships.Perhaps she will get ASEAN scholarship for NUS!!!! SEE!!!She has so many chances but me.....sucks......see....compare it now!!!!

2) Ng Juin Yi:
He is extremely hiper-active person which is positively behaved. He did well in STPM and also same as me - applied those scholarships and universities same as me.But unfortunately, he wants to be in medicine rather than engineering. That's why NUS and NTU gave him the same course. But, better than nothing. At least he can choose between this two. By the way, he is also called to interview for scholarships( NTU ASEAN and SCP). Perhaps also have the same chance as Chang.....SEE!!! COMPARE ME AND THEM!!!!!

3) Ng Shin Yi:
She is pretty and brilliant as well. Did well in STPM and applied the SC (security commision) scholarship. She has been called to interview in KL. As well, she also applied to UCAS (Universities and Colleges Admission Services). She was quite success for that because she got offer from UK universities. But, she can't go there because the financial problem hits her too much.. Compare who is luckier!!!!!

In conclusion, I am the most unfortunate among my friends above.... I still got a lot of friends to compare with...They are lucky to get the schoalrships interview..At least there's a chance for them to perform themselves in front of the scholarships panel.....

Sad!!! About the confession, I was too hurry to make it...

Fail!!!! FAIL!!! fAIL!!!!!!shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want this thing out of my life!!!!!!!!!!!

Can anyone tell me how!!!!!!

At last!!! But, why Singapore don't want to offer me scholarship interview?

WHy?????!!!!! I really sad!!

I really not satisfied what they did to me.....
Because is very very unfair.....
Somebody's co-curricular activities are not as good as me...but they get the scholarship interview instead!!! What's wrong with me??


Now, I am in Miri, attending an interview from Shell.....Is quite tough...but, as soon as possible...I need to apply through UCAS to apply UK's universities as they told us to do..

Disappointing!!! Really sad......Why?!!

Is the essays really that important in judging a person's personalities??!!!

Failure in my life till now......

Failing to express my feeling towards opposites sex is my biggest failure in my life till now. Staring my friends, one - by - one getting a good 'partner' and makes me jealous.

Sigh..I think what is not within myself is my confidence to express it...And plus, I also think that the timing is not good for me...

Everytime when I want to say something, I must be stuck there and deviate to another topic when I start the topic....This shows that I am not confident enough to say it out.

Luckily, this effort has made me to another peak.....Means this thing did not affect my results in academics and my homework....I think this will be continue till when I graduate from the University...

I will wait for her....the 'she' will be the one I will be waiting for....
Now, I just don't want to do something to amaze her....Maybe there's a better one in other sides...who knows....

Well, I just state that I just want to have a partner to share my happiness...Unfortunately, now, there is no one is willing to do it...Sigh..so unfortunate....I am not blame this for my friends, just blame myself for being not transparent and truthful to my friends....

Hope there are happiness circling around them......

Stupid!!!!

I am happy because I will celebrate my 20th birthday soon.

But, at the meantime, I am not that happy..Because for last 10 years, I celebrated this annual occasion with my own family....Sometimes maybe just my own....

Wishing "Happy birthday to me" everytime...I don't know whether there is anyone of my friends still remember it....I won't blame them for such thing but I blame myself for not telling them my birthday and I deserved for it....

Yeah..yeah.....I know.....I had been ashamed of it and I am not good in expressing my feelings...That's why I always try my best to get the good results and gain attention from other people's focus....

It was a big mistake...Other friends can celebrate happily...while I, unfortunately, have to show my birthday date to them and they just :" oh....today is your birthday?!"

Wa....Ok...never mind, but, why do I so silly in memorising my friends' birthdays...keep wishing them happy birthday.....ok.....never mind...

But, I felt myself stupid enough just do that for this 10 years....so STUPID!!!
Keeping wishing them and gain nothing back...Ok...I never hope something will be paid back....But, I just feel myself is being so stupid...
DON'T know why..just stupid...

Last night, I suggested through sms with Ka yee...I suggested that having a bbq party( gathering for last time) before we all depart to pursue our dreams....
But, the responds were really disappointing....

"Aiya, cant ....because too troublesome" Sigh....definitely, I was not that obvious saying that party is upon my birthday..but is ok then ok...

But, the answer was really made me sad and I nearly cry....I just can't cry...
Because I thought if this party does work, it will be our or my last gathering before I go to Singapore..

It came out to be a worse thing for me...A bad memory...
I really hope there is someone can celebrate birthday with me, excluding family...coz I always celebrate it with them..

And for the last time, I really hope my 20th birthday can be a memorable birthday..

Ciao...